A weekly-ish podcast about the Internet by way of Reddit, the front-page of the Internet.
#100 r/trees
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Somehow, despite all the many microphone issues, our lack of a sincere TrueSwords sponsorship, and our overall "charming" lack of pod professionalism, we've made it to our 100th episode. So to celebrate this historic milestone and proof point in the success of mediocrity, we're covering one of our white whale heavyweight subs, r/trees. And since we're finally discussing r/trees, it only makes sense that we become ents ourselves to make for a thoroughly interesting conversation on the current cultural conversation about the devil's lettuce. Naturally, this also segues into us wandering into the wonderful world of r/woahdude. Here's to another 100,000 episodes. This one brought to you by the entire Bob Marley discography.
mY ENTIRE FAMILY JUST ATE MY CANNABUTTER WHAT DO i DO??
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#99 r/trashy
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This week, we've got a big one for you guys. We've been itching to do r/trashy for a long time now, as it's collectively one of our all-time favorites, but thanks to a new documentary about how Dupont is poisoning Dad's hometown, and a particularly controversial post from the Reddit front page, the time is nigh. r/trashy is on the surface, Reddit's greatest collection of hilariously ill-mannered people, living their best lives in the worst way possible. It's ultimately a celebration of all that encompasses an unapologetically trashy lifestyle, down to the leopard print banner. However, once you spend some time in this sacred place, you start to see that there's an undercurrent of classist commentary between the lines, and Redditors engaging in an important debate about whether someone pooping in the aisles of a Walmart catfood aisle is something we should make fun of, or critique as a reflection of our increasingly caste-divided America. Plus, u/dogboobes calls Jimmy Carter a little bitch, u/myfreeday almost marries into royal lineage at ASU, and we experience a true reddit random Goocher. We cannot express to you enough to go watch 'The Devil We Know' on Netflix.
#98 r/amitheasshole
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Thank god our beloved u/dogboobes is back, and just in time to tell us that evidently, she is also an IMDB politics messageboard celebrity. Somehow for the entirety of this podcast, she's failed to mention that she was at one time, left-wing Internet royalty. So somewhere between learning that u/DogBoobes is basically Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and u/myfreeday briefly deciding that he's an anarchist, we enter the Officialish Reddit Judiciary system known as r/amitheasshole, where people debate on the inappropriate conduct of fellow Redditors who may or may not be an asshole. It's one of the many ways in which the Reddit community has created a virtual governing body that is far more efficient than pretty much any of America's IRL governing bodies. Buckle in guys, this episode is basically jury duty without the publicly funded lunch breaks. This episode brought to you by the human nipple, Jeff Sessions, and Capo Isetta Wines.
#43 r/fyrefestival (repost!!!!) WITH SPECIAL GUEST AND FYRE SURVIVOR
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WE RECORDED THIS PODCAST MAY 3, 2017 - This is a repost. In full transparency, we are stealing hype from the very popular Netflix Doc about Fyre. Enjoy the conversation with a real Fyre Survivor.
Last week, God wrote the world's most hilarious slapstick comedy about a bunch of rich kids from Instagram descending on an island once inhabited by Pablo Escobar to attend a festival created by Ja Rule and some guy who looks like he scams Instagram models named Billy. What resulted was Fyre Festival, the perfect physical encapsulation of the Internet's most damning and hilarious attributes, and a nonstop source of entertainment since. On this week's pod, we invited Jenna Conlin, Fyre festival's chillest attendee, to tell us firsthand about the experience from ground zero. She's a survivor my sweet listeners, and she's here to tell Did You Reddit about her harrowing tale of triumph in the face of adversity in the shape of American cheese sandwiches. Also, u/dogboobes is in Mexico saving the life of her body guard with the help of $9.99 scabbards from today's sponsor TrueSwords.com.
Update Description
Last week, God wrote the world's most hilarious slapstick comedy about a bunch of rich kids from Instagram descending on an island once inhabited by Pablo Escobar to attend a festival created by Ja Rule and some guy who looks like he scams Instagram models named Billy. What resulted was Fyre Festival, the perfect physical encapsulation of the Internet's most damning and hilarious attributes, and a nonstop source of entertainment since. On this week's pod, we invited Jenna Conlin, Fyre festival's chillest attendee, to tell us firsthand about the experience from ground zero. She's a survivor my sweet listeners, and she's here to tell Did You Reddit about her harrowing tale of triumph in the face of adversity in the shape of American cheese sandwiches. Also, u/dogboobes is in Mexico saving the life of her body guard with the help of $9.99 scabbards from today's sponsor TrueSwords.com.
Update Description
#97 r/weirdeggs
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Well, u/dogboobes is nowhere to be found. Some say she's in New York making content for Nabisco crackers. Some say she's in sipping on opiates after a spider bite. Either way, she isn't with us to talk about the great egg of Instagram, fast food, modernfarmer.com, and a whole variety of other topics that occur after a few Capo Isetta red blends. With all the insanity surrounding Instagram's new president, @WorldRecordEgg, we thought it was fitting that we revisit an Ep 1 random button, r/weirdeggs, which has since blossomed from an underground gem to a full-fledged mainstream sub. However, because el dog wasn't around to whip us into any since of structure, we took about an hour to actually get to it. Over the course of our Internet meanderings, we also decided to ruthlessly poke holes in the journalism of someone named Chloe Bryan for some reason and learn about the nuances of modern agriculture tending. Don't ever leave us again u/dogboobes.
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#96 r/buyitforlife
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Welcome to 2019 guys. New Year - basically the same us. So obviously it makes sense then that we start the first episode of 2019 by talking about Abraham Lincoln deep fake pornography, followed quickly by another u/dogboobes diet attempt. Evidently, u/itsyerdad got some incredibly durable new boots, so we decided to check out r/buyitforlife, a sub dedicated to similarly durable purchases, like Kitchen Aid mixers. In this extremely popular sub, users discuss the best of consumer goods, all with the intention of buying it once, knowing that it will last forever. The older we get, the more inclined we all are to spend a little more up front, knowing that old coffee cantine will last us through at least one of the inevitable nuclear winters we have coming our way in the immediate future. All of us except for u/dogboobes that is, who is still actively milking the GAP credit card she got in college. This episode brought to you by Kitchen Aid and Capo Isetta Wines.
#95 r/all end of the year recap!
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We're changing pace a little on episode 95, and instead of using a specific Subreddit as a launching point, we're taking a deep dive in the top posts from the 2018 front page. From the Mexican restaurant that moved into an old Chinese restaurant and painted sombreros on the Pandas, to the Zuckerberg robot memes, to the many ups and downs of Elon Musk, we take a tour of this year's greatest hits. Then, we take a hard right turn and discuss u/myfreedays story of when his neighbor god murdered. But then we get back to the memes. It's been a good year ladies and gents, and we can only assume it's going to get a lot weirder in 2019. u/dogboobes's dad is going to get a whole lot cruiser. u/itsyerdad's emotional response to baby boomers is going to get a whole lot hate-y-er, u/myfreeday's garage studio is going to become a whole lot ranch dressing-er. And trueswords.com will continue to be a very unsponsive-er to our emails. Seeya in 2019.
#94 r/luddite
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Everything just sounds a whole lot better when we're in Ranch Dressing Studios. That, and when u/dogboobes is on her version of a juice cleanse, which is basically other peoples' version of casually drinking juice sometimes. Yet despite things objectively sounding and feeling better when we can actually use our fancy microphones and all the technology that the 21st century affords us, we still can't help but empathize with the many OG neckbeards trying to find the man by not ever learning how to use a cell phone. So, to follow through on our perpetual annoyance at Apple for making recording our pod so difficult, we've decided to cover r/luddite, a predictably small but dedicated sub group of pseudo eco-terrorists out to break your cellphone. We're not saying the Unabomber was right or anything, but it's definitely very cruel that he had to be subjected to MKUltra at such a young age. Plus, no one likes to see their favorite ravine turned into a road to Islands restaurant, except for maybe u/dogboobes. Plus, DYR invents a cool way to innovate zoos, turns LIT into a noun, and we briefly revisit Dog's relationship with her father. This episode still brought to you by Capo Isetta Wines (capoisetta.com).
#93 r/nostupidquestions
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Well everyone, it's finally the time you've all been waiting for. After about 8 straight episodes of mediocre pod quality, we're back in full swing at Ranch Dressing Studios, creamy as all get out. To celebrate, we talk for a good 15 minutes before ever even addressing the mere concept of Reddit. But don't you worry, we cover your second favorite topic in the meantime, Doggie Boobies' dad issues. After we cover our bases on that important topic, we jump over to r/nostupidquestions to address a pressing topic that we all think deserves attention - why Reddit is so popular despite most people claiming they don't know what it is. For you regular Redditors, this is a not all too uncommon issue. Yet, like any good mystery, it continues to be unsolved. Plus, other non-stupid questions, we debate rebranding the Gap as an edgy sk8 company, and more important than all, we give non-biased wine reviews based solely on the labels, from our new official sponsor Capo Isetta Wines (https://capoisetta.com/). Spoiler alert, they're all 10s. This episode legitimately brought to you by Capo Isetto wines, which you can get just in time for the holiday season at https://capoisetta.com/.
Thanks to our sponsor, capo isetta wine! capoisetta.com/
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#92 r/npcmemes
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Well, we're officially back in the garage recording pods at 7:00am. Oh, you thought that would mean crystal clear audio quality and an unwavering professionalism? Well clearly you still don't know who you're listening to - what we lack in professionalism, we constantly make up for in our on brand inpredictability. Since we last recorded in the garage, u/itsyerdad got a new computer, incompatible with our previous setup, so we had to proverbially duct tape and bird feather this episode together. Lucky for you though, our in-person chemistry makes it all worth it, as we dig into the weird world of NPCs, or Non-Playable Characters, the right wing's latest insult for people who casually participate in Trump-bashing. It's an odd evolution of terms like "Sheeple", and to a degree "Snowflakes", as it requires a certain level of gaming and Internet-lingo familiarity to understand, which may be why it's recently been subject to some strangely authoritative anti-free speech moves from the Internet gods. It's a fascinating topic that we only graze the surface of. Plus, we discuss the art of catastrophic street photography, and discover r/tardtales, possibly the last vestige of a pre-gentrified mainstream Internet. This episode brought to you by Yeller Feller Endeavor 2, out now from Rockstar Games.
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out of the loop - npc
in real life...
know your meme
#91 r/weabootales
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Listen. We're sorry. We're inconsistent posters... but isn't it nice to get a surprise from time to time? Do you REALLY want your foremost Reddit-centric podcast to be timely and on a regular schedule? Yeah, us either, which is why u/itsyerdad decided to go to Asia for three weeks, making pod scheduling comically difficult. BUT, here we are, truly trans-global, to talk about all things in u/itsyerdad's temporary home, most notably, the d'Weebs who over-idolize its culture. That's right - in honor or Dad being in Japan, we're going to talk about Weeaboos and some of the stories where they've been seen in the wild on r/weeabootales. Plus, we discuss the pronunciation of "Golden Gai", u/dogboobes continues her 91 episode streak of eating live on the pod by having poke bowl delivered mid-episode, and u/myfreeday can still barely read. Gomen'nasai all y'all senpais. This episode brought to you by bidets.
Weeaboo (a.k.a Wapanese) is an English slang used to describe a person (typically of non-Asian descent) who prefers Japan and all things in Japanese over one's indigenous culture. The term is a successive mutation of "Wapanese," a derogatory slur referring to western Japanophiles with a strong bias towards Japanese cultural and tech imports. (Source: KnowYourMeme)
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LINKS BELOW:
so... i fucked a weeaboo
my wife f'd a weeb...
WEEABOOTALES
WEEABOO
know your meme - weeaboo
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#90 r/outoftheloop (#2)
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Well hello casual listeners of DYR, how nice to see you again. At this point, our inconsistency is getting comical. People say that the path to success is built by leaning into your strengths, and I think it's safe to say that our strengths lie in designing schedules that transcend convenience, and creating episodes that are virtually impossible for u/itsyerdad to edit in a timely manner. So, here we are, at our best, revisiting one of our favorite evergreen subreddits r/outoftheloop, where we try to make sense of the massive Goblin Slayer controversy, fights within the Bernie lifers, and Garfield's horrifying comic book alter ego. Plus, we get to know Gritty, we discuss LaCroix's secret ingredient (it's rat poison!), and Canada legalizes weed (about a week and a half ago). Punctuality is for normies. This episode brought to you by clocks.
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creepy garfield
gritty
Khashoggi
goblin slayer
#89 r/botsrights
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Hey guys. Obligatory apology for again not posting this podcast on time. But if it makes you feel any better, u/dogboobes is back from Tanzania to talk to us about the civil liberties of robots! We've been meaning to talk about this sub for a long time, but with Houston trying to ban sexbot brothels, and California banning bots that try to be humans, it's a better time than ever to stand up for our half-sentient brothers and sisters of steel. r/botsrights is a cross between sarcastic programming jokes, and a genuinely sincere commentary on the way we interact with beings that we view as "lesser". Maybe it's setting the foundation for larger conversations about how and why we address robot intelligence with manners, or maybe it's just a good place to see nerds being nerds. Either way, let Houston have its brothel guys. Plus, u/dogboobes fights with her dad about bootstraps, u/myfreeday visits a Mexican Costco, and u/itsyerdad continues to talk too much. This episode brought to you by Tickle Me Elmo.
CALIFORNIA BANS BOTS PRETENDING TO BE HUMAN
ROBOT BROTHEL ARTICLE
stop robot abuse!
#88 r/tulpas (PART TWO)
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First of all, apologies for a slightly belated episode posting. Let's be honest, we use the term "weekly" very loosely. That said if there was ever a reason for us taking longer than usual to post a new episode, an interview with both a tulpa and their possibly Austrian host is a pretty good reason as far as we're concerned. In episode 87, we dug into the perplexing world of r/tulpas, a community dedicated to coming up with imaginary best friends for adults. This description definitely does the community a massive disservice, but really, we don't know how else to describe it because Tulpas are a pretty bizarre phenomenon. So, we reached out to the mods at r/tulpas to take our newfound interest in tulpamancy a step further by interviewing someone about having a Tulpa. Not only did we get this, but we got to interview their Tulpa too, in the same interview. It was extremely interesting, bizarre, and really pleasant. Plus, u/dogboobes goes to Uganda to check up on Lemon Party MD and u/myfreeday hosts a bong ripper party for two-year-olds. This episode brought to you by TrueSwords.com again.
thank you tulpa moderator... U/shinyuuwolfy !!!
reddit link: r/tulpa
your millennials guide to 'tulpamancy' - on mtv... so.
#87 r/tulpas
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Hey listeners, we're not above saying that we all get lonely sometimes. We all have tendencies to sulk in the $400/month studio apartment of our mind and wish that we could calm our existential anxiety by just having someone to watch King of the Hill reruns with. But sometimes, that someone just isn't there. Which, amongst other philosophically more important reasons is why Tulpas exist. A Tulpa is the ancient mystical concept of creating a sentient being through mental or spiritual concentration alone. For centuries, it was an important Buddhist concept, but because the Internet is a magical and endlessly bizarre place, it's now mostly used by Bronies and people who just need a little extra companionship. This week, we take a look at the r/tulpas subreddit and discuss some of the finer points of Tulpamancy. Also, we discuss Paul Flart's incredible rising stardom, and the OG shock-value Internet. This episode brought to you by TulpaSwords.com.
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#86 r/greatawakening
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You’ve probably heard a lot about QAnon lately. To some, the QAnon movement is a mystifying right-wing conspiracy led by Floridian baby boomers who would fall on the sword for president Trump to help reveal the ring of Barrack Hussein Obama pedo-pizza loving Deep Staters. To others, it’s basically also that but with aliens involved somehow. And to some, it’s Trump’s team of personal journalists. Either way, it’s a really complicated and confusing political movement built on a group of people sharing cryptic messages on 4Chan, claiming to be in Trump’s close inner-circle, or at least with the privilege of knowing what he’s about to do. Despite how divisive it’s all become, it’s also becoming more of a subculture, and less of a fringe subculture. It makes our brain both hurt and itch simultaneously, so we decided to invite our new friend r/CaptainRoyD on the pod to discuss r/greatawakening, Reddit’s #1 source for any and all information pertinent to QAnon. We had a nice chat about boats, Andrew Dice Clay, and the Deep State. This episode brought to you by the Clinton Foundation and Monsanto. Oh, and Roger Stone. #investigate311
LINKS
#85 r/enoughmuskspam
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Oh how the mighty have...gotten into unnecessary Twitter feuds and called some dude a pedo because he saved some kids from drowning first. To some, Elon Musk is the a real life Batman/Iron Man, building an empire on life-changing technological innovations for the future we all imagine is possible. To others, he's a really annoying capitalist, masquerading as a do-gooder with a quirky creative girlfriend and an weird need to fit in with nerd culture that he clearly transcends. It's hard to say which one is closer to reality, but you can't deny that the dude's face is everywhere, and his legacy is now firmly templatized for meme fodder. Plus, we fantasize about the juice of the dark sarcophagus, u/dogboobes talks about her totally irrational fear of mystery imps. This episode brought to you by spaceships and Gatorade bottles filled with mystery liquid.
The internet hates elon musk now... here's an article about it.
this guy keeps getting elon'd right in the musk-hole
#84 r/finlandconspiracy
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This week's Internet was overwrought with stories of Putin and Trump's bizarre meeting of the minds in Helsinki, most notably Don's amazing response to the question of whether or not Russia intervened in the election. BUT, was all of this tomfoolery one big slight of hand distraction from the truth, that the home of the meeting "Helsinki, Finland" ISN'T ACTUALLY A REAL PLACE? Wake up sheeple, the Japanese-Russian fishing trade is sweeping the truth right under your normie-noses, and we're here to break this story right open. This week, we continue our discussion of the r/FinlandConspiracy, Poe's Law, and the weird world of Internet jokes that become internet realities. Plus, James Gunn is a bad comedian, and Giraffes are big. This episode brought to you by Nokia canned tuna.
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE FINLAND CONSPIRACY...
POSTED BY: u/PM_ME_NICE_MESSAGES
This is a subreddit designed to discuss and theorize upon the belief that Finland is not a real country.
For a brief view on this you can read /u/Raregans comments about it here.
The Finland conspiracy states that Finland is not a real country. Not only is it not a real country but there is actually no landmass there at all, and the space between Sweden and Russia is actually empty ocean.
Now I realize that this notion seems ridiculous but that is why the conspiracy works, and why people are afraid to speak out against the existence of Finland, so I would ask you to approach the evidence I put forward here with an open mind.
Finland was first created some time during the Cold War between Russia and the West. It was also around this time that environmentalism and the idea of preserving our planet was really taking off, and it is due to both of those things that two of the main players in the Finland conspiracy came to work closely with each other, Russia and Japan.
Japan-Soviet relations had always been shaky at best, but also incredibly secretive. Even as early as 1925 Japan and the Soviet Union had secret deals with each other regarding fishing rights between the two countries, with the Soviet Union giving up much of it's fishing rights to Japan with seemingly no explanation as to why.
These secretive treaties and alliances continued right up until just before the fall of the Soviet Union, Gorbachev made trips to Japan months before the fall of the Soviet Union stating the entire time how the relations between them were improving, even when Soviet relations with the rest of the world were worsening.
In fact the entire past 100 years of Japanese-Russian relations bring up many unanswered questioned.
Why at the height of WW2, were the battles between these two countries minimal despite being on opposing sides?
Why did Japan sign a peace treaty with Russia in 1941, just months before their allies, Germany, went to war with Russia?
Why were relations between Japan and Russia always good throughout the Cold War, despite the major geopolitical differences between the countries, and close geographical positions that you think would cause tensions?
The answer is simple, they shared a common secret. A common asset that worked in both of their favours. And that asset was Finland.
It's unclear when Finland was first thought up, some say it was during the Cold War, and others say it was as far back as the 1920's, but the necessity of Finland is quite simple.
Japan can fish in the region of ocean between Sweden and Russia without worry for environmental repercussions, after all, nobody's going to expect fishing regulations to be broken in a place where everyone thinks there's a landmass will they? And in return Russia get a percentage of the fish to distribute amongst their populace.
It's a simple case of fishing the Finnish Sea, transporting it across Russia, (that was the real reason for the construction of the Trans-Siberian railway by the way), and then shipping it from the Eastern Russian coast to Japan under the disguise of 'Nokia' products.
This is why Nokia is the largest 'Finnish' company, and it is also why Japan is the largest importer of Nokia products, despite the fact that very few people own Nokia phones in the country.
There are clearly some unanswered questions to this conspiracy that I'll try and address below.
--
1- What about Finnish people? Are they all in on the conspiracy?
A. No. People from Finland genuinely believe they're from Finland. In reality they are from small towns on either the Eastern part of Sweden, the Western part of Russia, or the Northern part of Estonia.
--
2- What about all of Finland's other exports other than Nokia?
A. Finland's three biggest, and three most well known areas of industry are Oil, Tech, and Software. The oil is gathered in offshore platforms where the rest of us believe the landmass of Finland is, (again the Japanese get to avoid rigging regulations in this respect), the Tech companies have already been explained above with the Nokia post, and Software companies can easily redirect their IP Address through the Finnish sea. As for other Finnish exports, well, claiming Santa comes from your country isn't a viable way to get people to believe in it.
--
3- What about Helsinki? That is an enormous city on the world stage.
A. Helsinki is located in Eastern Sweden. It's not like the people flying there would notice.
--
4- What about everywhere else in Finland? There's a lot to it and it couldn't all be made up.
A. 99% of Finland is forest. A lot of it doesn't need to be accounted for when addressing Finnish geography.
--
5- Why do other countries go along with it?
A. At first it was a sign of goodwill between Western Countries and the Soviet Union. A bargaining chip that could be played. But Finland has since evolved to something much more. An idealistic placeholder for what countries should aspire to. No real country could so consistently place first in Education, Healthcare, Gender Equality, Literacy Rates, National Stability, The least corrupt government in the world, Freedom of the press. It's a concept for countries and people to aspire to. But that's where the problems about Finland's existence is disputed. no country in the world can possibly be that good.
--
6- Why the name Finland?
A. The country was originally made for fishing. What do fish have? Fins. Thus Finland.
--
7- What about the Finnish language?
A. Look up the similarities between Japanese and Finnish. It may surprise you how similar they are. Which is weird considering the vast distances between them.
--
8- I'm Finnish and your attack on my people and culture is insulting.
A. I'm not insulting Finnish people or culture. I don't even deny that there is Finnish culture. When you have a collective of a few million people identifying as Finnish then of course a culture will be built around it. I'm simply saying that that the landmass of Finland isn't actually there. It doesn't mean there can't be a culture or identity of being Finnish however.
--
9- This is an enormous conspiracy to keep secret, how could nobody else of realized it?
A. Other people have realized it. But imagine the ridiculousness of the statement 'I don't believe Finland exists'. Even if we did have undeniable proof of something put in front of us we would still hold the opinion that most of our friends, family, and acquaintances hold to not disrupt social convention. It's part of the human condition.
--
10- What about GPS and Satellite Images?
A. It's manipulated and forged. In the parts of Estonia, Sweden, and Russia that are allocated as 'Finnish zones' the GPS locations are changed to match that of Finland. Satellite images are forged. This is how that part of the world really looks
This is a subreddit designed to discuss and theorize upon the belief that Finland is not a real country.
For a brief view on this you can read /u/Raregans comments about it here.
The Finland conspiracy states that Finland is not a real country. Not only is it not a real country but there is actually no landmass there at all, and the space between Sweden and Russia is actually empty ocean.
Now I realize that this notion seems ridiculous but that is why the conspiracy works, and why people are afraid to speak out against the existence of Finland, so I would ask you to approach the evidence I put forward here with an open mind.
Finland was first created some time during the Cold War between Russia and the West. It was also around this time that environmentalism and the idea of preserving our planet was really taking off, and it is due to both of those things that two of the main players in the Finland conspiracy came to work closely with each other, Russia and Japan.
Japan-Soviet relations had always been shaky at best, but also incredibly secretive. Even as early as 1925 Japan and the Soviet Union had secret deals with each other regarding fishing rights between the two countries, with the Soviet Union giving up much of it's fishing rights to Japan with seemingly no explanation as to why.
These secretive treaties and alliances continued right up until just before the fall of the Soviet Union, Gorbachev made trips to Japan months before the fall of the Soviet Union stating the entire time how the relations between them were improving, even when Soviet relations with the rest of the world were worsening.
In fact the entire past 100 years of Japanese-Russian relations bring up many unanswered questioned.
Why at the height of WW2, were the battles between these two countries minimal despite being on opposing sides?
Why did Japan sign a peace treaty with Russia in 1941, just months before their allies, Germany, went to war with Russia?
Why were relations between Japan and Russia always good throughout the Cold War, despite the major geopolitical differences between the countries, and close geographical positions that you think would cause tensions?
The answer is simple, they shared a common secret. A common asset that worked in both of their favours. And that asset was Finland.
It's unclear when Finland was first thought up, some say it was during the Cold War, and others say it was as far back as the 1920's, but the necessity of Finland is quite simple.
Japan can fish in the region of ocean between Sweden and Russia without worry for environmental repercussions, after all, nobody's going to expect fishing regulations to be broken in a place where everyone thinks there's a landmass will they? And in return Russia get a percentage of the fish to distribute amongst their populace.
It's a simple case of fishing the Finnish Sea, transporting it across Russia, (that was the real reason for the construction of the Trans-Siberian railway by the way), and then shipping it from the Eastern Russian coast to Japan under the disguise of 'Nokia' products.
This is why Nokia is the largest 'Finnish' company, and it is also why Japan is the largest importer of Nokia products, despite the fact that very few people own Nokia phones in the country.
There are clearly some unanswered questions to this conspiracy that I'll try and address below.
--
1- What about Finnish people? Are they all in on the conspiracy?
A. No. People from Finland genuinely believe they're from Finland. In reality they are from small towns on either the Eastern part of Sweden, the Western part of Russia, or the Northern part of Estonia.
--
2- What about all of Finland's other exports other than Nokia?
A. Finland's three biggest, and three most well known areas of industry are Oil, Tech, and Software. The oil is gathered in offshore platforms where the rest of us believe the landmass of Finland is, (again the Japanese get to avoid rigging regulations in this respect), the Tech companies have already been explained above with the Nokia post, and Software companies can easily redirect their IP Address through the Finnish sea. As for other Finnish exports, well, claiming Santa comes from your country isn't a viable way to get people to believe in it.
--
3- What about Helsinki? That is an enormous city on the world stage.
A. Helsinki is located in Eastern Sweden. It's not like the people flying there would notice.
--
4- What about everywhere else in Finland? There's a lot to it and it couldn't all be made up.
A. 99% of Finland is forest. A lot of it doesn't need to be accounted for when addressing Finnish geography.
--
5- Why do other countries go along with it?
A. At first it was a sign of goodwill between Western Countries and the Soviet Union. A bargaining chip that could be played. But Finland has since evolved to something much more. An idealistic placeholder for what countries should aspire to. No real country could so consistently place first in Education, Healthcare, Gender Equality, Literacy Rates, National Stability, The least corrupt government in the world, Freedom of the press. It's a concept for countries and people to aspire to. But that's where the problems about Finland's existence is disputed. no country in the world can possibly be that good.
--
6- Why the name Finland?
A. The country was originally made for fishing. What do fish have? Fins. Thus Finland.
--
7- What about the Finnish language?
A. Look up the similarities between Japanese and Finnish. It may surprise you how similar they are. Which is weird considering the vast distances between them.
--
8- I'm Finnish and your attack on my people and culture is insulting.
A. I'm not insulting Finnish people or culture. I don't even deny that there is Finnish culture. When you have a collective of a few million people identifying as Finnish then of course a culture will be built around it. I'm simply saying that that the landmass of Finland isn't actually there. It doesn't mean there can't be a culture or identity of being Finnish however.
--
9- This is an enormous conspiracy to keep secret, how could nobody else of realized it?
A. Other people have realized it. But imagine the ridiculousness of the statement 'I don't believe Finland exists'. Even if we did have undeniable proof of something put in front of us we would still hold the opinion that most of our friends, family, and acquaintances hold to not disrupt social convention. It's part of the human condition.
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10- What about GPS and Satellite Images?
A. It's manipulated and forged. In the parts of Estonia, Sweden, and Russia that are allocated as 'Finnish zones' the GPS locations are changed to match that of Finland. Satellite images are forged. This is how that part of the world really looks
#83 r/normaldayinrussia
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When the World Cup final happens, the whole Internet talks about it. So, using the World Cup final as an excuse, u/myfreeday leads us into the world of football conspiracy theories, which then segues into a conversation about Russia's hilariously overt tampering of ordinary laws, which then obviously led to a conversation about the broad weirdness of Russia in general by way of r/anormaldayinrussia. Plus, Papa John has been ousted from his pepperoni throne, and part 1 of r/finlandconspiracy. This episode brought to you by Vodka and the 2016 American presidential election.
LINKS + ARTICLES
THE TIGER: A book about how Russian people are tough and fight tigers and befriend bears.
next week on the pod... r/findlandconspiracy
#82 r/askoldpeople
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At this point, it's a well-documented part of the DYR brand for u/itsyerdad to hate elders. So, u/dogboobes makes a valiant, and ultimately successful effort to sway his totally rational bias by leading an empathy-packed episode investigating r/askoldpeople; a sub designed to let the youth of today converse with people who have lived through VCRs and ham radios. Sometimes nostalgic, sometimes thoughtful, sometimes sad, and sometimes just goddamn adorable, r/askoldpeople is certainly a part of the more kind-hearted corners of the Reddit, and a fascinating look into the past from the perspective of the people who know what it used to be like. It turns out, u/itsyerdad is a flip-flopper and doesn't hate old people as much as he claims. What a p0ser. This episode brought to you by Werther's Originals and Readers Digest.
#81 r/whitepeopletwitter
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According to the Internet, the Bay Area has an a less-than-elite strike force of middle-aged white woman enforcing laws that don't really need enforced. First, it was BBQ Becky with her totalitarian grip on lakeshore grill doctrine. Now, we have Permit Patty, and her particularly firm interpretation of sidewalk vendor regulation. While both instances were racially charged, they were also cartoonish examples of peak whiteness at work. So, with this episode, we are taking a look at r/whitepeopletwitter, and the hilarious nuances of the less aggressive aspects of white culture, if there even is such a thing. Plus, we discuss Childish Gambino's plagiarism controversy, and pervy camera men during the world cup. This episode brought to you by the San Francisco real estate owner's bureau.
#80 r/history
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Listen. Sometimes, the internet just can't stop talking about politics, and this is one of those weeks. Since we are technically a podcast about the Internet, we thought it was important that we took the time to recognize the elephant in the room, or rather the infant elephant in the border cage. However, instead of just going straight into the belly of the beast, we've decided to discuss an analogous part of American history and dig into Japanese Internment camps by way of a few posts from both r/history, and r/aznidentity. Little did we know, but according to a very informative breakdown by u/olddivorcecase, Japanese Internment was largely driven by the agriculture sector. Also, u/dogboobes has new stalkers, and u/itsyerdad is covered in pellet wounds. This episode brought to you by free range eggs.
#79 r/thechurchofrodgers
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For nearly 40 years, America's greatest neighbor, Fred Rogers, taught all of us how to not be buttheads to other people. He was undeniably one of, if not the most kind-hearted person to ever grace our television screens, and in the age of extreme moral ambiguity, his Mr. Rogers is sorely missed. So, with the release of the recent film "Won't You Be My Neighbor?", we take a look at r/TheChurchofRogers, a subreddit dedicated to the moral teachings and ideas of one of the world's greatest role models and/or rumored cold-blooded snipers. Also, we discuss why u/itsyerdad didn't vote in the California primaries, where Melania Trump is getting her latest nose lift, and the proportionality of Elizabeth Hurley's face. This episode brought to you by Pittsburgh Public Television. REDDIT LINK: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheChurchOfRogers/
May 1, 1969: Fred Rogers testifies before the Senate Subcommittee on Communications
On May 1, 1969, Fred Rogers asked for twenty million dollars with a calm, empathetic smile, and he got it. As the war in Vietnam raged on, President Nixon aimed to slash public funding for children's programming. And in six minutes, in front of a hostile Senate Committee, Fred Rogers did not let that happen by appealing to a murders row of hardened senators using his now famous neighborly demeanor.
Was mr. rogers a hit man for the navy seals?
#78 r/treasure
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Evidently, 17 billion dollars of lost treasure was recently found off the coast of Columbia, which flies in the face of our assumptions that treasure hunting is some lost art left to the plot lines of Johnny Depp films. However, apparently that 17 billion with a B is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the cashsishe still lost in the world, so we decided to take a look at r/treasure to get a glimpse into the world of modern treasure hunters. In doing so, we basically discover what we already could have guessed - the government wants your treasure - which is why our new favorite human is Tommy G Thomson, the Ohio-raised pirate currently sitting in jail for not telling America where he put all the treasure he found. Plus, we revisit the concept of remote pods, and Epcot Center is kind of racist now apparently. This episode brought to you by the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride at Disneyland.
Update Description
Update Description
TOMMY THOMPSON DISCOVERED THE SHIP OF GOLD IN 1988... AND THE U.S. GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE BECAUSE OF IT.
LINK TO ARTICLE: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3914620/Treasure-hunter-allegedly-faking-memory-problems-hide-missing-coins-location.html
- Tommy Thompson discovered the sunken SS Central America - known as the Ship of Gold - in 1988
- He is behind bars after allegedly refusing to reveal the location of 500 missing gold coins said to be worth millions
- Has been held in contempt of court since December 2015 for violating a plea deal that required him to answer questions about their location
- Thompson claims he suffers from a rare form of a chronic fatigue syndrome that has created problems with his short-term memory
- But psychiatric evaluation found he only suffers 'minor memory problems'
- Thompson earlier claimed the coins had been turned over to a trust in Belize - but the government doesn't believe him
#77 r/darkfuturology
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Lately, an Instagram celebrity named Lil' Miquela (pronounced Lil MiQuaaludes) has been in the news quite a bit, and for good reason. Lil' Miquela, despite her insanely lifelike language, posture, and perspective, is not real. Not like "Timmy Thick sociological study" not real, but computer generated not real. Despite this, she's become a fashion icon, Instagram celebrity, advocate, and now pop star, begging the obvious question of whether or not we're fully prepared for the kind of uncanny valley we're entering with social media. With this in mind, we broach the topic of r/darkfuturology, considering the ramifications of Lil Miquela (Lil MiQuaaludes) on our overall perception of Internet authenticity. This episode brought to you by The Center for Children Who Can't Read Good, where u/itsyerdad and u/myfreeday should have gone first before doing this episode.
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#76 r/kanye
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There's been a lot of hate towards Kanye over the past few weeks, and for good reason. If you take what he's saying at face value, he announced two new records a few weeks ago, then immediately became an outspoken supporter of Donald J, evidently thinks slavery is a choice, and has generally just caused a broadly annoying stir. However over the past week, Internet sleuths have started tying together some of the cryptic clues in his unorthodox behavior, and have made a convincing argument that all of this adds up to a creative reinterpretation of a famous performance piece from the 70s. This week, we put on our grad school art theory caps, and dig into this interesting theory by way of a specific post on r/Kanye. Also, we continue our weekly segment of whiteknighting our in house m'lady, u/dogboobes. This episode brought to you by Keeping Up With the Kardashians, everyday from 3-8pm on TLC, The Learning Channel.
#75 r/unresolvedmysteries
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This was a big week for emotionally disturbed, incel-leaning serial killers. First, some cheeto-fingered Canadian who tried to start his virgin revolution up in Toronto, but instead just sold his private parts to the most dangerous people in the Canadian prison system, the equivalent to jaywalkers in the United States. However, a much bigger story broke on Reddit as a 30 year manhunt came to a close, and the East Area Rapist was finally identified to the glee of r/unresolvedmysteries. In this episode, we break down some of the juice that these amateur sleuths managed to squeeze on this case, and discuss some of the interesting byproducts of Reddit Private Eyes. Plus, u/DogBoobes explains lipstick quality, and RIP Verne Troyer. This episode brought to you by Chad.
#74 r/legaladvice
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With all the suin' going on these days, it's a great time to be a lawyer. But not everyone has the Skrilla to afford the services of the greats legal minds of today, ie the Texas Law Hawk. Fortunately, r/legaladvice is a great resource for those of us who feel like we could be embroiled in a precarious legal situation, without a clear path out. Or, in our case, a great sub to investigate true stories of the depravity and hatred amongst us. r/legaladvise is a rare and special sub whose purpose barely outweighs its true story dramas, which you see play out over the course of many months, since so many of these stories have conclusions. Plus, Zuckerberg hospital exists apparently, and u/dogboobes is now a member of the Miami-Dade police force spring 2018 intern class. This episode brought to you by donuts and men's warehouse.
#73 r/kratom
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Welcome back, us. We've been away for a few weeks, but we're back and ready to fall into a deep, legal, opiate-induced euphoria with all of you sweet listeners. As is well documented on this podcast, we here at DYR (and when I say we, I mean u/dogboobes) have a certain fascination with strange substances, particularly if they help numb the waking reality of this alien simulation we call life. This week, we've decided to take a journey into the latest "drug" craze, Kratom, before our nation's "go to mass three days a week" step-uncle Jeff tries to make it illegal. Frequent listeners know that we've briefly touched on the topic of Kratom in the past, but with the FDA recently calling Kratom into question because of Club 13's super exclusive Salmonella flavored batch, we thought it was time to dedicate an entire episode to this miracle leaf. Also, we briefly discuss Zuckerbot's recent congressional hearing, and think about how jean/short hybrids came to be. This episode brought to you by Pacific Trail pants for dads, and TrueSwords.com.
#72 R/ANTIFACEBOOK
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Obviously we all know that everything is a lie and the world is an alien hologram that we're making decisions in against our will, but this week pretty much removed any reasonable doubt. Not only did Cambridge Analytica's involvement in the 2016 elections prove to all of us that we're basically just human excel spreadsheets, but the world's most confusing and alluring low-bro Internet personality, Timmy Thick, was revealed to be none other than a Harvard social study all along. Or was he? Was Timmy Thick the world's greatest peer reviewed study or is Timmy Thick indeed our generation's greatest living artist? Is Facebook proof that we're nothing more than a number, or the best contemporary opportunity to create an impacting rebellion against the financial elites of our society? What does anything mean anymore? Like, share, and follow us on Facebook please. This episode brought to you by Ancient Aliens on the History Channel.
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#71 r/fragsplits
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Now that u/itsyerdad is over his chest cold, we finally get to do the episode we've been teasing for the better half of the month, r/fragsplits. Somewhat like the Reddit Secret Santa, r/fragsplits turns the digital world of Reddit physical by creating a community where different users buy super expensive niche perfumes, then send tiny 10ml to 25ml bottles to "splitees" eager to try these exotic niche perfumes at a much more reasonable quantity and price. As anyone who regularly listens to this pod can rightfully assume, we're not exactly the most sophisticated trio when it comes to the more high brow facets of society. So, not only did our guest u/Alryjul take it upon himself to explain how to the sub worked, but the niche fragrance community in general. Plus, we spend more time talking about Drakkar Noir than anyone has in the last decade and a half, we revisit 2018's best kept secret, Iceberg and Ranch Cake Pops, and we briefly discuss Reddit's recent announcements regarding Russian meddlin'. This episode brough to you by 23 by Michael Jordan, for men.
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#70 r/anxiety
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If you've been listening to DYR for a while, then you know that we (and when I say we I mean u/dogboobes) can be pretty anxious people. It permeates our every day existence, and in our increasingly wtf times (r/PeakAmerica), anxiety is is about as omnipresent as hillary4prison on 4chan. Fortunately for you, there's a virtually troll-free subreddit, aptly named r/anxiety, where you can temporarily squash the perpetual fear that death is always on your heels and life itself is a Sysiphusian challenge that only fools think they can beat. Or, you know, maybe you're afraid your girlfriend is preginat and your friends think you're weird. Whatever anxiety is plaguing you, r/anxiety is a place to momentarily assuage those fears. Also, we invent the world's great new health snack craze live on the pod and we're pretty sure that Bill Gates has an ATV fetish. This episode brought to you by those stickers on plastic that you can't entirely scratch off, forever reminding you of your shortcomings with even the simplest things.
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#69 r/rule34
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Hey guys, it's episode 69 (r/im14andthisisfunny), which means it's time for us to finally explore a topic from Reddit's wonderful web of NSFW subs. So, this week, we voluntarily destroy our childhoods while simultaneously testing our sexual proclivities for anthropomorphic inanimate objects, with r/Rule34. What's Rule 34? Great question. Probably the most famous of Reddit's semi-formal rules of the Internet, Rule34 states that if it exists, there's a porn of it. As we've come to realize, this largely focuses on cartoons that may have triggered teenage boys' sexual awakenings, but like anything on the Internet, the deeper you get, the weirder things (and when we say things, we mean butts) you see. Plus, somehow we talk at depth about Parkland in a pod about hentai, and we dig into the lesser know rules of the Internet accompanying Rule 34. So open up your private browser sweet boys and girls, and ruin your childhood with us. This episode brought to you by Bud K Get the Edge.
HERE'S A CREAMY LINK TO THE RULES OF THE INTERNET: http://rulesoftheinternet.com/
RULE 34 - LINK: www.reddit.com/r/rule34/
KNOW YOUR MEME: knowyourmeme.com/memes/rule-34
RULE 34, IMGUR LINK: imgur.com/search?q=RULE+34
#68 r/deepfakes
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Last week, one of Reddit's newest and most exciting new subs got banned. RIP r/deepfakes, the once home to an Internet-wide attempt to put Nicolas Cage in every movie ever made, turned into every 15-35 year-old dude's treasure trove to their favorite celebrity's fake convincing fake porn leak. Initially, it was just a rogue computing sub where savvy AI enthusiasts could learn how to use Google's TensorFlow tech to do some extremely convincing face swaps, but like all things, people found a way to use it for Porn, taking this lone Subreddit for mere thousands to around 90k subscribers, and mainstream notoriety as the world's latest controversial attempt to see celebrities naked (Fappening pt. 3?) Now, facing no shortage of complicated philosophical conundrums, both Reddit and Pornhub have banned Deepfakes, but we at DYR think the implications of this ban are much deeper than any fake of Emma Watson you can imagine. Good pun? No not really. Good conversation? Absolutely. This episode sponsored by Hamburger Shmelcher and porn.
#67 r/unpopularopinon
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Hey guys, we're a few days late posting this pod because I (itsyerdad) is Montreal for the week, which is totally lame because Canada is a super rude and disorganized country. PSYCH, Canada rules. But that's a great example of the kind of thing you'd find on r/unpopularopinions. It's not a place designed exclusively for contrarian thoughts, but is a perfect sub for you to let those insecure thoughts flow that fly in the face of the majority rule. On this week's pod, we discuss a few of said contentious perspectives. Plus dogboobes turns 30, itsyerdad discusses his cryptic familial past, and apparently dogboobes and myfreeday don't think music is that cool because they're psychopath freaks. This episode brought to you by Hamburger Shlemmer but not TrueSwords because we're fighting.
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#66 r/showerthoughts
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For some reason, 66 episodes in, we're just not doing r/showerthoughts. But you know what, because r/showerthoughts is such a damn goldmine of beautiful brain nuggets, it also probably won't be the last time we do r/showerthoughts either. If you're an Internet novice, and unfamiliar with a shower thought, it's basically that tiny momentary epiphany that wanders into your brain when you're doing something mindless and banal like taking a shower, doing the dishes, or boiling noodles. Sometimes these thoughts are unmistakably profound. Sometimes they're funny. Sometimes they're extremely strange. Either way, they're super good for reading and discussing over a podcast. Also, the crew discovers the glorious strangeness of Hammacher Schlemmer, our new sponsor. Sorry TrueSwords, you've been temporarily bumped.
#65 R/CONFESSION
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Sometimes, you just gotta get something off your chest. Maybe it's something that's been eating at your soul ever since you were a teen. Maybe it's so embarrassing and pathetic that you've been trying to keep it submerged in your deep self-conscious hoping that your brain would finally disregard it. Or maybe your family is literally the only household in the world with a poop knife. Whatever the case may be, r/confession is where you can let your demons out with limited (or at least self-contained) judgement. Only to realize that a podcast is reading your darkest, grossest (this one is real gross, btw), secrets out loud for their EXTREMELY EXPANSIVE audience (please rate and like). Plus, u/dogboobes reflects on one of the lowest moments of her otherwise illustrious athletic career. Lets get intimate, listeners. This episode brought to you by toilets, and TruePoopKnives.com.
#64 - r/blink182
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Remember the early 2000s when all the coolest kids wore Chad Muska's weed concealing éS shoes, Tony Hawk's pro skater taught every teenager how to break their ankles trying to do a Christ Air, and Blink 182 was the world's (or maybe just the midwest's) most important band? Well 2/3 of us certainly do. Now, almost 20 years removed from the year that Blink 182's Enema of the State invited a whole generation to Southern California, the lead singer for Blink 182 is basically the world's greatest hope for finding and communicating with alien life. For those of you somehow still not convinced that God is nursing a heavy adderral addiction with a increasingly loose grip on reality, just reflect on the the fact that the guy from Blink 182 owns a company that's publishing UFO findings in the New York Times. Welcome to 2018, the year of Project Blue Beam. SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOOOOOOOTTTT.
#63 - r/moraldilemmas
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Hey guys, it's 2018. As people who used to buy weed on the Internet in 2010 become bicoin bajillionaires overnight, and Ohio's finest boy Logan Paul goes on a ridiculous romp through Japan in the most Ohio way possible, we wanted to start the year off with a sub to help shed a light on the ethically ambiguous nature of modern America - r/moraldilemmas. So, is it more moral for Logan Paul to make a dang fool of himself in the suicide forest, embarrassing all white people in the process, or respectfully not post his weird suicide fetishization video, potentially not stopping some of his fans from taking their own lives in ignorance? Is it moral to push the fat man onto the tracks if you know if will save five people later down the line? What are the moral obligations of a centaur trying to get hot and spicy with a horse? Plus, we finally get our Patreon account up and running (you should contribute because there are some extremely exciting prizes), we declare OATS the official word of 2018 even though we're only a few days in, and we discover that a half-man half-porpoise hybrid would be called a "Poorperson", which is hilarious. What a way to start 2018 guys. This episode brought to you by TrueSwords.com and the San Diego Aquarium.
# 62 - R/JFKFILES
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It's a sad Friday afternoon dear listeners. Not only are people on r/imgoingtohellforthis ruining the plot for the new Star Wars (seriously - don't get close to that sub if you aren't prepared to be blindsided with a spoiler), but Net Neutrality is we know it is dead thanks to Ajit Pai's smug, meme-factory of a face. This week we discuss our friend and intern u/hoefauxsho's sub-suggestion r/jfkfiles, but with the end of the Internet literally looming over us, we mention JFK maybe once. This episode brought to you by cyberbullies around the world who are doing their best Ajit Pai right now. Not all heroes wear capes. Also Trueswords.com.
# 61 - R/FIVEYEARSAGOONREDDIT
AI operated subreddits are a special breed on Reddit. Without human intervention, we lurkers can see clearly that people are the dumbest, and we all continue to make the same strange mistakes over and over again. This is particularly apparent on r/fiveyearsagoonreddit and r/tenyearsagoonreddit, where you can simply see what kind of posts were happening at that exact time five and ten years ago respectively. Instead of what you might think would happen, where you just relive your favorite memes from ten-ish years ago, you see things like how the iPhone's inception warped human behavior, how we still haven't solved the Net Neutrality thing yet, and that GdubyaBush was a pretty terrible president. This episode brought to you by truetimemachines.com
#60 - r/CrazyideasMilk with extra pulp. Porn parodies of documentaries. An airhorn designed to look exactly like a Febreze can so that you know when visitors poop. Are these crazy ideas, or are they just awesome ideas? In this week's episode we discuss this vaguely philosophical idea as we read some of our favorite posts from r/crazyideas. Plus, we move into u/myfreeday's new garage, u/itsyerdad and u/dogboobes pod barbershop quartet style, and we briefly discuss whether or not our sweet boy and biggest fan Casey LeDoot is going to murder old people in Arizona. Hint - he's not. #preemtivelyfreehoefauxsho. This episode brought to you by the MeUndies's new line of codpieces and trueswords.com
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#59 - R/BEERMONEYHoly smokes Reddit piled on EA this week. First of all, a congratulations is certainly in order, since EA's official apology became the most downvoted post in Reddit history. Good work guys. Why? Because EA is greedy and their highly anticipated new game, Battlefront II, is basically predicated entirely on microtransactions. However, if you take the the wisdom of r/beermoney to heart, then you may indeed have a bit of extra cashishe around to eventually unlock Darth Vader. Plus, we discuss what we hope will be the plot for Westworld season 2, starring Arianna Huffington, u/dogboobes becomes an economist live on the pod, and our good friend Mic Problems visits the pod. This episode sponsored by tarantulas, online surveys, and more than usual, TrueSwords.com.
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#58 R/INCELTEARSThis week marked another pivotal moment in Reddit's ongoing battle against hate subreddits when it it decided to ban everyone's favorite virgin-filled future serial killer sub, r/incels. However, the story if incels (involuntary celibates) feels more like a true perversion of innocence than your typically slanderous community of fedora donners. Before Chad crushed their souls into fine Cheeto-dust, they were just lonely shy boys struggling to find a lady's touch. Where did they go wrong? When did they give up the quest for Stacy and start fr*cking swans instead? Where will they go next? RIP r/incels. We doubt we'll see you on the other side, but we hope that your internet afterlife has lots of Hentai and fully stocked haberdasheries. Plus, u/dogboobes talks about the ghost of nurse Joyce. This episode brought to you by the wikipedia page for Fedoras, TrueSwords.com, and every Chad in the whole world.
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#57 R/RUSSIALAGOIf you've been following American politics, or literally anything else in the entire world, then you've certainly heard the name Robert Mueller by now. This week marked an interesting turn in the annoying but endlessly captivating web of conspiracies with the indictment of three guys very close the Trump campaign. For those less interested in getting your trousers fluffed with outrage, and more interested in playing your own game of collusion clue at home, r/russialago is your proverbial map. Here, you'll get all the latest odd, interesting, and sometimes tinfoilish rumors pertaining to the Russia/Trump investigation. So, as we're often likely to do on serious topics, u/myfreeday and u/itsyerdad get into a back and forth about modern ethics while u/dogboobes eats snickers bars, wishes she were eating mushrooms, and eventually takes a freshman biochem on a friday morning style nap mid-pod. This episiode brought to you by every brand of Vodka, Ambien, and TrueSwords.com.
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#56 r/talesofmikeEveryone knows a Mike or Michaela. You know, that guy at the office who drinks decaf coffee and repeatedly reminds you of the wingnut medical backing behind his opions that caffeine will give you crohn's. Or that girl who always gives you extra work even though you and her are on the same career level. Or, that dude who tells your boss that he got a contusion on his foot from the hot spa stones you left in the dryer by accident. r/talesofmike is a subreddit dedicated to telling stories of your personal Mike, so that Reddit can collectively 'ugh' in his/her direction. Plus, romcom pornos, u/dogboobes has a silver star in girl scouts or something, and the 69Boyz return. Fr*ck you mike. You're ruining the spa for all of us. This episode brought to you by TrueSwords.com and Salvia.
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#55 R/THEBIZZIBLEHey listeners, you know a real snoozer of a book? I'm talking like a real bottle of lithium on a long drive through Nebraska kind of snoozer. You guessed it - the friggen Bible. Fortunately for us though, the good people at r/thebizzible have taken it upon themselves to translate all those boring pre-emoji words into the contemporary cadence we all need to make sense of what it's actually saying. Plus, when you add a little spice to the boring bits, it totally makes Jesus and God look like super cool guys, which is really the point of the Bible to begin with right? Also, u/itsyerdad talks about buying fake coins from homeless people, the gang talks about catholic school, and Revelations reads like Amon Amarth lyrics, with or without the Bizzible translation. This episode brought to you by our lord, and true swords dot com.
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#54 - R/BASEBALL
For 2/3 of the Did You Reddit? crew, October is a special, nostalgic time reminiscent of steroid fueled home runs, hot dog entrées, and dreams of world series glory followed by childhood clinical depression. The MLB playoffs are here, so we invited our good friend Beau Abbott from Baseball Card Vandals to join us on the pod to discuss America's favorite pastime, r/baseball, both in the modern era and in the past. Plus, u/dogboobes teaches us some insults that she likes to yell at players, and hall-of-famer George Brett tells a hall-of-fame worthy story.
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#53 - R/STEALINGIs stealing a universally reprehensible behavior, or is there a real art to knowing how get the copper out of someone's AC unit without them knowing? Is the National Shoplifting League going to eclipse the NFL as the next great American sport, or do teenagers just have too much time on their hands. Will u/itsyerdad be recruited to join the cast of Ocean's 11 because of his cunning Whole Foods "Soup" trick? These are the kinds of questions you might be able to answer on r/stealing, a sub for professional and amateur thieves to discuss the tricks of their ethically challenging trade. Speaking of Soup, what's the deal with Souplantation? Is shaved lettuce and shredded lettuce the same thing? And will designer dogs become the delicacies during the next world war? This episode brought to you by soup and trueswords.com
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#52 - r/r4r MOD INTERVIEWIn this episode, we had the privilege to talk with u/zathalen100 and u/4thinversion, mods from Reddit's 'personals' sub, about some of the inside juice on r/r4r. Zath is an experimental podartist, so was recording through tin can connected to a piece of string, which made him extremely difficult to hear at times. However, 4th and Zath have the juice news on all latest from r4r, including Dr. Love, Middle-Eastern Fecal Visas, keyboard hypnosis, and a speculative James Deen sighting. Also, we briefly talk about anime. This episode brought to you by #trueswordsdotcom, bad cellphone service, and every Manga every made.
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#51 - r/robosexuality
Where do your sexual fetishes sit on the uncanny valley, listeners? Are you into a far right realistic sentient being kinda guy who basically just wants a girlfriend that won't mock your sad attempts to fold clothes? Are you more of a centrist who thinks that there's something sexy about a curvy machine with exposed wires? Or, are you on the far left, and basically just got the thickening because of the way that Roomba vacuumed in your direction? These are the pressing issues over at r/robosexuality, and the kind of thing that we all will have to debate in the not so distant future, so we decided to skip ahead and discuss it at depth now. Plus, u/myfreeday briefly discusses his stint as a roadie on Barbara Streisand's 2006 tour, u/dogboobes takes issue with the differences between silicon female and male sex dolls, and u/itsyerdad may or may not have had sex with a pile of dead bees by way of a public pool robovacuum when he was a teenager. This episode brought to you by RealDoll.com, and obviously TrueSwords.com
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