Lately, an Instagram celebrity named Lil' Miquela (pronounced Lil MiQuaaludes) has been in the news quite a bit, and for good reason. Lil' Miquela, despite her insanely lifelike language, posture, and perspective, is not real. Not like "Timmy Thick sociological study" not real, but computer generated not real. Despite this, she's become a fashion icon, Instagram celebrity, advocate, and now pop star, begging the obvious question of whether or not we're fully prepared for the kind of uncanny valley we're entering with social media. With this in mind, we broach the topic of r/darkfuturology, considering the ramifications of Lil Miquela (Lil MiQuaaludes) on our overall perception of Internet authenticity. This episode brought to you by The Center for Children Who Can't Read Good, where u/itsyerdad and u/myfreeday should have gone first before doing this episode.
There's been a lot of hate towards Kanye over the past few weeks, and for good reason. If you take what he's saying at face value, he announced two new records a few weeks ago, then immediately became an outspoken supporter of Donald J, evidently thinks slavery is a choice, and has generally just caused a broadly annoying stir. However over the past week, Internet sleuths have started tying together some of the cryptic clues in his unorthodox behavior, and have made a convincing argument that all of this adds up to a creative reinterpretation of a famous performance piece from the 70s. This week, we put on our grad school art theory caps, and dig into this interesting theory by way of a specific post on r/Kanye. Also, we continue our weekly segment of whiteknighting our in house m'lady, u/dogboobes. This episode brought to you by Keeping Up With the Kardashians, everyday from 3-8pm on TLC, The Learning Channel.
This was a big week for emotionally disturbed, incel-leaning serial killers. First, some cheeto-fingered Canadian who tried to start his virgin revolution up in Toronto, but instead just sold his private parts to the most dangerous people in the Canadian prison system, the equivalent to jaywalkers in the United States. However, a much bigger story broke on Reddit as a 30 year manhunt came to a close, and the East Area Rapist was finally identified to the glee of r/unresolvedmysteries. In this episode, we break down some of the juice that these amateur sleuths managed to squeeze on this case, and discuss some of the interesting byproducts of Reddit Private Eyes. Plus, u/DogBoobes explains lipstick quality, and RIP Verne Troyer. This episode brought to you by Chad.
With all the suin' going on these days, it's a great time to be a lawyer. But not everyone has the Skrilla to afford the services of the greats legal minds of today, ie the Texas Law Hawk. Fortunately, r/legaladvice is a great resource for those of us who feel like we could be embroiled in a precarious legal situation, without a clear path out. Or, in our case, a great sub to investigate true stories of the depravity and hatred amongst us. r/legaladvise is a rare and special sub whose purpose barely outweighs its true story dramas, which you see play out over the course of many months, since so many of these stories have conclusions. Plus, Zuckerberg hospital exists apparently, and u/dogboobes is now a member of the Miami-Dade police force spring 2018 intern class. This episode brought to you by donuts and men's warehouse.
Welcome back, us. We've been away for a few weeks, but we're back and ready to fall into a deep, legal, opiate-induced euphoria with all of you sweet listeners. As is well documented on this podcast, we here at DYR (and when I say we, I mean u/dogboobes) have a certain fascination with strange substances, particularly if they help numb the waking reality of this alien simulation we call life. This week, we've decided to take a journey into the latest "drug" craze, Kratom, before our nation's "go to mass three days a week" step-uncle Jeff tries to make it illegal. Frequent listeners know that we've briefly touched on the topic of Kratom in the past, but with the FDA recently calling Kratom into question because of Club 13's super exclusive Salmonella flavored batch, we thought it was time to dedicate an entire episode to this miracle leaf. Also, we briefly discuss Zuckerbot's recent congressional hearing, and think about how jean/short hybrids came to be. This episode brought to you by Pacific Trail pants for dads, and TrueSwords.com.
Obviously we all know that everything is a lie and the world is an alien hologram that we're making decisions in against our will, but this week pretty much removed any reasonable doubt. Not only did Cambridge Analytica's involvement in the 2016 elections prove to all of us that we're basically just human excel spreadsheets, but the world's most confusing and alluring low-bro Internet personality, Timmy Thick, was revealed to be none other than a Harvard social study all along. Or was he? Was Timmy Thick the world's greatest peer reviewed study or is Timmy Thick indeed our generation's greatest living artist? Is Facebook proof that we're nothing more than a number, or the best contemporary opportunity to create an impacting rebellion against the financial elites of our society? What does anything mean anymore? Like, share, and follow us on Facebook please. This episode brought to you by Ancient Aliens on the History Channel.
Now that u/itsyerdad is over his chest cold, we finally get to do the episode we've been teasing for the better half of the month, r/fragsplits. Somewhat like the Reddit Secret Santa, r/fragsplits turns the digital world of Reddit physical by creating a community where different users buy super expensive niche perfumes, then send tiny 10ml to 25ml bottles to "splitees" eager to try these exotic niche perfumes at a much more reasonable quantity and price. As anyone who regularly listens to this pod can rightfully assume, we're not exactly the most sophisticated trio when it comes to the more high brow facets of society. So, not only did our guest u/Alryjul take it upon himself to explain how to the sub worked, but the niche fragrance community in general. Plus, we spend more time talking about Drakkar Noir than anyone has in the last decade and a half, we revisit 2018's best kept secret, Iceberg and Ranch Cake Pops, and we briefly discuss Reddit's recent announcements regarding Russian meddlin'. This episode brough to you by 23 by Michael Jordan, for men.
Hey guys, it's episode 69 (r/im14andthisisfunny), which means it's time for us to finally explore a topic from Reddit's wonderful web of NSFW subs. So, this week, we voluntarily destroy our childhoods while simultaneously testing our sexual proclivities for anthropomorphic inanimate objects, with r/Rule34. What's Rule 34? Great question. Probably the most famous of Reddit's semi-formal rules of the Internet, Rule34 states that if it exists, there's a porn of it. As we've come to realize, this largely focuses on cartoons that may have triggered teenage boys' sexual awakenings, but like anything on the Internet, the deeper you get, the weirder things (and when we say things, we mean butts) you see. Plus, somehow we talk at depth about Parkland in a pod about hentai, and we dig into the lesser know rules of the Internet accompanying Rule 34. So open up your private browser sweet boys and girls, and ruin your childhood with us. This episode brought to you by Bud K Get the Edge.
HERE'S A CREAMY LINK TO THE RULES OF THE INTERNET: http://rulesoftheinternet.com/
RULE 34 - LINK: www.reddit.com/r/rule34/
KNOW YOUR MEME: knowyourmeme.com/memes/rule-34
RULE 34, IMGUR LINK: imgur.com/search?q=RULE+34
Last week, one of Reddit's newest and most exciting new subs got banned. RIP r/deepfakes, the once home to an Internet-wide attempt to put Nicolas Cage in every movie ever made, turned into every 15-35 year-old dude's treasure trove to their favorite celebrity's fake convincing fake porn leak. Initially, it was just a rogue computing sub where savvy AI enthusiasts could learn how to use Google's TensorFlow tech to do some extremely convincing face swaps, but like all things, people found a way to use it for Porn, taking this lone Subreddit for mere thousands to around 90k subscribers, and mainstream notoriety as the world's latest controversial attempt to see celebrities naked (Fappening pt. 3?) Now, facing no shortage of complicated philosophical conundrums, both Reddit and Pornhub have banned Deepfakes, but we at DYR think the implications of this ban are much deeper than any fake of Emma Watson you can imagine. Good pun? No not really. Good conversation? Absolutely. This episode sponsored by Hamburger Shmelcher and porn.
Hey guys, we're a few days late posting this pod because I (itsyerdad) is Montreal for the week, which is totally lame because Canada is a super rude and disorganized country. PSYCH, Canada rules. But that's a great example of the kind of thing you'd find on r/unpopularopinions. It's not a place designed exclusively for contrarian thoughts, but is a perfect sub for you to let those insecure thoughts flow that fly in the face of the majority rule. On this week's pod, we discuss a few of said contentious perspectives. Plus dogboobes turns 30, itsyerdad discusses his cryptic familial past, and apparently dogboobes and myfreeday don't think music is that cool because they're psychopath freaks. This episode brought to you by Hamburger Shlemmer but not TrueSwords because we're fighting.
For some reason, 66 episodes in, we're just not doing r/showerthoughts. But you know what, because r/showerthoughts is such a damn goldmine of beautiful brain nuggets, it also probably won't be the last time we do r/showerthoughts either. If you're an Internet novice, and unfamiliar with a shower thought, it's basically that tiny momentary epiphany that wanders into your brain when you're doing something mindless and banal like taking a shower, doing the dishes, or boiling noodles. Sometimes these thoughts are unmistakably profound. Sometimes they're funny. Sometimes they're extremely strange. Either way, they're super good for reading and discussing over a podcast. Also, the crew discovers the glorious strangeness of Hammacher Schlemmer, our new sponsor. Sorry TrueSwords, you've been temporarily bumped.
Sometimes, you just gotta get something off your chest. Maybe it's something that's been eating at your soul ever since you were a teen. Maybe it's so embarrassing and pathetic that you've been trying to keep it submerged in your deep self-conscious hoping that your brain would finally disregard it. Or maybe your family is literally the only household in the world with a poop knife. Whatever the case may be, r/confession is where you can let your demons out with limited (or at least self-contained) judgement. Only to realize that a podcast is reading your darkest, grossest (this one is real gross, btw), secrets out loud for their EXTREMELY EXPANSIVE audience (please rate and like). Plus, u/dogboobes reflects on one of the lowest moments of her otherwise illustrious athletic career. Lets get intimate, listeners. This episode brought to you by toilets, and TruePoopKnives.com.
#64 - r/blink182
Remember the early 2000s when all the coolest kids wore Chad Muska's weed concealing éS shoes, Tony Hawk's pro skater taught every teenager how to break their ankles trying to do a Christ Air, and Blink 182 was the world's (or maybe just the midwest's) most important band? Well 2/3 of us certainly do. Now, almost 20 years removed from the year that Blink 182's Enema of the State invited a whole generation to Southern California, the lead singer for Blink 182 is basically the world's greatest hope for finding and communicating with alien life. For those of you somehow still not convinced that God is nursing a heavy adderral addiction with a increasingly loose grip on reality, just reflect on the the fact that the guy from Blink 182 owns a company that's publishing UFO findings in the New York Times. Welcome to 2018, the year of Project Blue Beam. SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOOOOOOOTTTT.
#63 - r/moraldilemmas
Hey guys, it's 2018. As people who used to buy weed on the Internet in 2010 become bicoin bajillionaires overnight, and Ohio's finest boy Logan Paul goes on a ridiculous romp through Japan in the most Ohio way possible, we wanted to start the year off with a sub to help shed a light on the ethically ambiguous nature of modern America - r/moraldilemmas. So, is it more moral for Logan Paul to make a dang fool of himself in the suicide forest, embarrassing all white people in the process, or respectfully not post his weird suicide fetishization video, potentially not stopping some of his fans from taking their own lives in ignorance? Is it moral to push the fat man onto the tracks if you know if will save five people later down the line? What are the moral obligations of a centaur trying to get hot and spicy with a horse? Plus, we finally get our Patreon account up and running (you should contribute because there are some extremely exciting prizes), we declare OATS the official word of 2018 even though we're only a few days in, and we discover that a half-man half-porpoise hybrid would be called a "Poorperson", which is hilarious. What a way to start 2018 guys. This episode brought to you by TrueSwords.com and the San Diego Aquarium.
# 62 - R/JFKFILES
It's a sad Friday afternoon dear listeners. Not only are people on r/imgoingtohellforthis ruining the plot for the new Star Wars (seriously - don't get close to that sub if you aren't prepared to be blindsided with a spoiler), but Net Neutrality is we know it is dead thanks to Ajit Pai's smug, meme-factory of a face. This week we discuss our friend and intern u/hoefauxsho's sub-suggestion r/jfkfiles, but with the end of the Internet literally looming over us, we mention JFK maybe once. This episode brought to you by cyberbullies around the world who are doing their best Ajit Pai right now. Not all heroes wear capes. Also Trueswords.com.
# 61 - R/FIVEYEARSAGOONREDDIT
AI operated subreddits are a special breed on Reddit. Without human intervention, we lurkers can see clearly that people are the dumbest, and we all continue to make the same strange mistakes over and over again. This is particularly apparent on r/fiveyearsagoonreddit and r/tenyearsagoonreddit, where you can simply see what kind of posts were happening at that exact time five and ten years ago respectively. Instead of what you might think would happen, where you just relive your favorite memes from ten-ish years ago, you see things like how the iPhone's inception warped human behavior, how we still haven't solved the Net Neutrality thing yet, and that GdubyaBush was a pretty terrible president. This episode brought to you by truetimemachines.com
#60 - r/Crazyideas
Milk with extra pulp. Porn parodies of documentaries. An airhorn designed to look exactly like a Febreze can so that you know when visitors poop. Are these crazy ideas, or are they just awesome ideas? In this week's episode we discuss this vaguely philosophical idea as we read some of our favorite posts from r/crazyideas. Plus, we move into u/myfreeday's new garage, u/itsyerdad and u/dogboobes pod barbershop quartet style, and we briefly discuss whether or not our sweet boy and biggest fan Casey LeDoot is going to murder old people in Arizona. Hint - he's not. #preemtivelyfreehoefauxsho. This episode brought to you by the MeUndies's new line of codpieces and trueswords.com
#59 - R/BEERMONEY
Holy smokes Reddit piled on EA this week. First of all, a congratulations is certainly in order, since EA's official apology became the most downvoted post in Reddit history. Good work guys. Why? Because EA is greedy and their highly anticipated new game, Battlefront II, is basically predicated entirely on microtransactions. However, if you take the the wisdom of r/beermoney to heart, then you may indeed have a bit of extra cashishe around to eventually unlock Darth Vader. Plus, we discuss what we hope will be the plot for Westworld season 2, starring Arianna Huffington, u/dogboobes becomes an economist live on the pod, and our good friend Mic Problems visits the pod. This episode sponsored by tarantulas, online surveys, and more than usual, TrueSwords.com.
This week marked another pivotal moment in Reddit's ongoing battle against hate subreddits when it it decided to ban everyone's favorite virgin-filled future serial killer sub, r/incels. However, the story if incels (involuntary celibates) feels more like a true perversion of innocence than your typically slanderous community of fedora donners. Before Chad crushed their souls into fine Cheeto-dust, they were just lonely shy boys struggling to find a lady's touch. Where did they go wrong? When did they give up the quest for Stacy and start fr*cking swans instead? Where will they go next? RIP r/incels. We doubt we'll see you on the other side, but we hope that your internet afterlife has lots of Hentai and fully stocked haberdasheries. Plus, u/dogboobes talks about the ghost of nurse Joyce. This episode brought to you by the wikipedia page for Fedoras, TrueSwords.com, and every Chad in the whole world.
If you've been following American politics, or literally anything else in the entire world, then you've certainly heard the name Robert Mueller by now. This week marked an interesting turn in the annoying but endlessly captivating web of conspiracies with the indictment of three guys very close the Trump campaign. For those less interested in getting your trousers fluffed with outrage, and more interested in playing your own game of collusion clue at home, r/russialago is your proverbial map. Here, you'll get all the latest odd, interesting, and sometimes tinfoilish rumors pertaining to the Russia/Trump investigation. So, as we're often likely to do on serious topics, u/myfreeday and u/itsyerdad get into a back and forth about modern ethics while u/dogboobes eats snickers bars, wishes she were eating mushrooms, and eventually takes a freshman biochem on a friday morning style nap mid-pod. This episiode brought to you by every brand of Vodka, Ambien, and TrueSwords.com.
Everyone knows a Mike or Michaela. You know, that guy at the office who drinks decaf coffee and repeatedly reminds you of the wingnut medical backing behind his opions that caffeine will give you crohn's. Or that girl who always gives you extra work even though you and her are on the same career level. Or, that dude who tells your boss that he got a contusion on his foot from the hot spa stones you left in the dryer by accident. r/talesofmike is a subreddit dedicated to telling stories of your personal Mike, so that Reddit can collectively 'ugh' in his/her direction. Plus, romcom pornos, u/dogboobes has a silver star in girl scouts or something, and the 69Boyz return. Fr*ck you mike. You're ruining the spa for all of us. This episode brought to you by TrueSwords.com and Salvia.
Hey listeners, you know a real snoozer of a book? I'm talking like a real bottle of lithium on a long drive through Nebraska kind of snoozer. You guessed it - the friggen Bible. Fortunately for us though, the good people at r/thebizzible have taken it upon themselves to translate all those boring pre-emoji words into the contemporary cadence we all need to make sense of what it's actually saying. Plus, when you add a little spice to the boring bits, it totally makes Jesus and God look like super cool guys, which is really the point of the Bible to begin with right? Also, u/itsyerdad talks about buying fake coins from homeless people, the gang talks about catholic school, and Revelations reads like Amon Amarth lyrics, with or without the Bizzible translation. This episode brought to you by our lord, and true swords dot com.